The Craziest Things
by Blushing Hazel
Summary: . . . and as the heavy white door open, Edward smugly threw open his trench coat, flashing his naked body at a horrified . . . girl? Before he could process the situation, the stunned woman stumbled back into the stars behind her and went tumbling down the flight, and came to a stop as her head hit the back of the wall. AH, one-shot. Fictionista WitFit Prompt.


**Another Fictionista WitFit prompt that caught my eye from December 04, 2012. I hope you like it (and if not, feel free to review about it so I can improve).**

**Prompt: Dialogue Flex: "I've never heard such a crazy story!" Using the provided snippet of dialogue, explore what comes to mind, be it a scene, a thought, or something else. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own_ Twilight_, because if I did, I wouldn't be struggling to get the creative juices going.**

* * *

All eyes focused on the strong, masculine arm swung protectively over a pair of delicate shoulders. The intimidating Emmett Cullen did an imitation of a fish. The cool Rosalie Cullen dropped the bowl of salad, lettuce flying everywhere. Jasper Whitlock whipped his head back and forth to stare at the two figures joined at the shoulder. Alice Whitlock clapped her hands and jiggled a little victory dance. Carlisle Cullen scratched his head for a moment and shrugged.

Esme Cullen just offered a gentle smile and said, "Edward, Bella, I was planning on introducing you to each other tonight, but it seems that you two have already hit it off. Care to share the story?"

Two pair of eyes glanced at each other – a pair of sweet caramel eyes belonging to a blushing and slender brunette beauty, the other a set of bright forest green eyes attached to a gorgeous and muscular man with disheveled bronze locks. "Okay, but you might not believe it," Edward chuckled.

* * *

Edward Cullen had planned this day for ages. Saran wrap on the toilet seat, glitter in the car's defrost, vanilla pudding in the mayonnaise jar – the pranks that had tortured him in his childhood because of his prankster cousin, Emmett. Now that he had made a surprise move back to the hometown his family lived in, he finally get his revenge.

Creeping along the sidewalk of the cute suburban neighborhood, he came across the house number he had searched relentlessly for. Clutching his long trench coat closer to his body, he made his way to the front door. Esme had told him that she made sure Emmett would answer the door tonight so that he could "surprise Emmett with his sudden return".

Ringing the door bell of the two-story house, he took the chance to study it. It was a beautiful white wood house with a charming atmosphere. The grass was green and kept to perfection, and the blooming garden looked like it was taken straight out of a fairy tale. Edward nodded to himself - _It practically screams Esme Cullen._

He heard footsteps approaching from within the house and as the heavy white door swung open, Edward smugly threw open his trench coat, flashing his naked body at a horrified . . . girl?

Before he could process the situation, the stunned woman stumbled back into the stars behind her and went tumbling down the flight, and came to a stop as her head hit the back of the wall. The slim and pale body covered in a delectable ivory nightgown slumped and ceased movement.

Overwhelmed with panic and an odd sense of loss, Edward ran down the slippery steps to reach the figure with long mahogany hair. Cautiously, he felt for a pulse and almost cried in relief when he felt it beating steady and strong. Pulling his trench coat tight together and tying it to stop it from slipping, he scooped up the slight weight of the woman.

As her head fell back, hair flying slipping to reveal her face, Edward lost his breath. The five seconds he had seen her face before was not enough time to capture the absolute fragility of her face. Smooth and rosy cheeks, cute button nose, full strawberry lips, and the hint of a dimple in her cheek - Edward had seen plenty of beautiful ladies before, but he'd never seen someone so . . . _adorable_. Gazing at the dainty beauty of her face, Edward felt a surge of something protective and barbaric that just wanted to ravish her and swing a club at all other members of the male species.

Shaking his head violently in an attempt to escape those thoughts and focused on the task at hand. Although he was sure she was a far cry from dead, she could be injured, so he'd have to take her to the hospital.

But before he arrives at the hospital, he should probably put some clothes on.

* * *

"So, she'll be fine?"

"Yes, Mr. Cullen. She was very lucky. A fall like that could have caused a lot of damage," old, jolly Dr. Robinson assured the relieved young man, placing a comforting hand onto his broad shoulder. "I'll go get her release forms. Oh, to just be safe, make sure she doesn't go to sleep for the next three hours. You take good care of her now, alright, son?"

Nodding the affirmative, Edward turned from the bright white of the hallway to enter the hospital room. Sitting calmly in the center with an ugly, billowing hospital gown, and softly swaying her feet back and forth, she looked like serenity at its finest. Until she opened the wide caramel eyes full of rage, her hands twitching by her sides and curling into claws. "Oh, hello, would you care to explain why you flashed and nearly killed me, stranger?" Even in bloodlust, her voice was as sweet as honey.

"I'm Edward Cullen, ma'm. Now we're not strangers," he replied with a wink. Immediately, he regretted his stupidity. Why did he have to say something so corny and evasive that would probably get him killed by the stunning creature in front of him? Instead, she blinked her eyes at him, her features shifting into an "I'm waiting" expression, eyebrows rising high and mouth in a firm line.

"Well, long story, but I was trying to get revenge on my prankster cousin, Emmett, but accidentally did it to you instead," he rushed the explanation, not daring to take a breath in between words. Instantly, a pillow landed in his face with enough force to send him stumbling back a couple of steps.

"You idiot, you got the wrong house! Just one door over and none of this -" her screeching seized suddenly. "Wait, did you say you were trying to prank Emmett?" she questioned.

"Yeah, he used to play horrible tricks on me when we were younger and I thought it would have been the perfect thing to get back at him with," Edward mumbled, dropping his head in shame.

"Oh, too bad it didn't work! Yesterday, he set off my sprinkling system to go off while I was mowing the lawn. I was soaked!" She ranted, and Edward was soothed by the knowledge that her anger wasn't focused on him now. Taking a much-needed breath, Bella quit with her rambling and stared at the forest green eyes gazing into her own. "I guess I'll forgive you since it was for such a noble cause. My name's Isabella Swan."

"It's nice to meet you, Isabella. The doctor has ordered me to make sure you don't go to sleep for the next few hours, so what would you say to some ice cream?" Edward offered, giving her his signature lopsided smile that he reserved for a few choice favorites.

"To that, Edward, I say you may call me Bella. My friends call me Bella and if you're buying me ice cream, we're definitely on our way to being the best of friends!"

* * *

"I've never heard such a crazy story!" Emmett exclaimed, food flying from his mouth while he poured salt all over his mashed potatoes. He ignored the disgusted glares shot at him from around the table.

"Well, sometimes, the craziest things in life lead us the place we're meant to be," Esme smiled.

"Mom, don't be such a fortune cookie!" Emmett yelled across the dining table, the variety of food kaleidoscopic against the silky white table cloth.

Esme glanced at the newest couple to join the Cullen dinner. Both grinned sweetly back at her before Edward leaned down to place a soft kiss at the corner of Bella's strawberry pink lips, smirking when he heard Emmett's sudden shrill. Spitting out a mouthful of soggy mashed potatoes straight into Jasper's face, who leaped across the not-so-neat-anymore table to tackle the giant.

"Hey, it wasn't my fault! The salt was switched with sugar!"

* * *

**I hope you liked it! Edward's prank was a rather disturbing nightmare I had one time involving my hobbit of a math teacher back in junior high. Google had no answers for why I would dream of my should-hold-the-world-record-for-never-blinking 7th grade algebra teacher flashing me. Review!**

**_Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. -Chinese proverb. _(Feed me for a lifetime and give me some helpful feedback!)**


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